oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
