Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
