I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
