you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
