don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
