What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just high enough for therapy.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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