i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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