Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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