Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
