Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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