you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
