I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Randomize
