Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
