Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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