You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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