so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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