:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
