For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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