I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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