it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
