Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
