Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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