Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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