Life is so much better after having sex.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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