I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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