i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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