did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
