Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
