Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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