This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
