you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
