How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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