Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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