My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
