Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
