I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
tell me about the eggs
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
