So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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