now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
