I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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