Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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