I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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