i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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