So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
