i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My breasts were aching with rage.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
