if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
