separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
