He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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