a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just had sex on a roof
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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