Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
