Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
