I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
